Judge Not

Being exactly who you are, without feeling like you have to apologize for, or suppress any of it is imperative to living YOUR truth. People may make you feel like certain characteristics that you have are not favorable, or should be different. Opposition, of some sort, will always be experienced, no matter who you are/what you do. You will inevitably always be judged for things regarding yourself, as well as misunderstandings that people will have about you.

I feel like there are two types of people in the world, in terms of judgment. There are people who do not judge or condemn others for personality traits, ways of being, beliefs and convictions that have no effect on them, or others. Then, there are also people who tend to judge, criticize and challenge those things about others, even though the things that they judge and challenge have no effect on them, and don’t negatively affect anyone in any way.

The people who challenge things about others that do not affect them in any way usually suppress themselves in certain ways, tend to conform to what is the ‘norm,’ and do not deviate from the most generally accepted ways of being. They will label you as being ‘weird,’ ‘strange,’ or ‘crazy,’ and will make you feel bad for being you. They will try their best to partially or fully shoot you down when you express yourself in a way that they don’t agree with (sometimes even doing so unconsciously). For some people, witnessing another person being their genuine, authentic, unashamed self frightens them. They become intimidated, feel threatened, and possibly jealous of such a person. They witness a person being him or herself without holding back in any way, and are offended, in a sense, since they envy that person for being able to be exactly who they are. They know that they would never be comfortable doing these things, and resent those who are.

Being judgmental is always a product of the ego. We are taught to form opinions about and oppose characteristics about other people that we do not share, or disagree with. Being judgmental always says something about the individual who judges, and our judgments of others always say something about ourselves. The judgments about certain things indicate insecurities, personal issues, unresolved feelings, or misunderstandings  about what is judged. We don’t gain anything from being judgmental. In fact, we lose a lot by condemning people for their choices and characteristics. We lose energy by ‘judging’ – something that literally yields no results and changes nothing, causing no effect after the expenditure of energy used to condemn a person, following our individual, opinionated observations. Also, being judgmental tends to hinder us in our personal journeys. Feeling the need to judge/the tendency to be judgmental is connected to suppression of oneself and the absence of feeling comfortable enough to completely live one’s truth, without worrying about what others may think/how one may be perceived.

It is no coincidence that the most judgmental people are the ones who are extreme conformists, and seem very reserved regarding expressing core beliefs that were not taught/imposed on them. They are fearful of being judged and believe that deviating from the ‘norm’ will cause that to happen. They are hesitant to consider anything apart from what is the ‘norm’ and generally accepted. They are opposed to people ‘being themselves’ and are generally non accepting of anyone who is markedly different from them. They judge people who differ from them regarding ideas, beliefs, and behavior, even though these things may have no effect on them and who they are/can be.

It is also no coincidence that people who are non judgmental (are aware of the importance of observing without judgment) are more expressive about who they are, without the fear of being judged. They are not scared to consider realities or ways of being outside of the most common/popular/generally accepted ones, or their personal characteristics, and feel comfortable living their truth, regardless of how it may look to others/how they may be judged (because, no matter what one may or may not do, he will be judged for one reason or another, by some person, or another).

The tendency to judge others comes from being human. We have been taught to judge for our whole lives. ‘Comparison,’ which is something that we are constantly bombarded with, lends directly to judgment. We are taught about ‘bad’ and ‘good,’ which results in us having feelings of opposition towards anything that goes against what we support, or believe to be ‘right.’ Judging is a reaction, an impulse. It happens naturally, without us even consciously choosing to, and we are much more judgmental inwardly than we are outwardly. We silently judge by our thoughts, and most of our judgments about people never even end up being verbalized or expressed.

I judge people. I am not perfect. I am aware of the fact that it is useless and accomplishes nothing, and takes away from who I am. However, I am human, and it still happens. I am grateful for my perspective and the awareness that I have about it, and that I strive to be less judgmental. Every day, I try to curb my impulses to judge, following observations. This awareness is very important. Freeing myself from the impulse to constantly judge, and gaining the awareness of how unproductive judgment of others is has had a direct effect on how much more I focus on and analyze myself, express my truths, strive for self actualization without comparison, and respect everyone who is on their own different, individual journeys.

I am also learning how to get better at dealing with other people’s judgments and criticisms of me. It is necessary to learn how to withstand negative judgment and criticism (especially unsolicited), without letting it suppress or prevent one from being and doing what he desires, and what resonates with his soul. Judgments, at the end of the day, are nothing but opinions, It is impossible for every single person on earth to share the same opinion on any one thing. Not judging people for their characteristics and beliefs (especially those that have no effect on me) doesn’t guarantee that they wouldn’t judge me for said things, and that’s something that I have come to terms with.

We can’t escape being judged, but we can control how much we judge and criticize, which positively influences our individual self expression and level of focus on ourselves.