For me, a big contributor to my lack of prioritizing and acting on my desires is the concept of time. Time is so definite and constant. It dictates the minutes, seconds and hours that we have in our days, weeks, months and years. It determines, with a quantity, how many years we will be alive for. We can break these years down into months, then into days, then into hours, and then into seconds. I sometimes imagine my life to be a stopwatch, counting down from a specific number. We are limited in terms of the amount of time we have in this lifetime, so that means we are limited in terms of how much time we have to do ANYTHING. The fact that my lifetime is limited and relatively short causes me to overthink the things I want to do, and the things that I do do.
I often wonder whether I should be doing the things that I do, and stress over all of the things that I don’t do. It’s hard to just ‘be’ and not operate from a place of anxiety when I have not established the things that I’m going to do, the order that I’m going to do them in, and how I am going to go about tackling these things. I’ve spent many years of my life feeling inefficient, since my prioritization, and subsequently, time management skills, have not been as good as they should be. I never realized the importance of planning, prioritization, and method of distribution of my time and energy. Self reflection has caused me to analyze myself and has shown me that I need to organize my goals and desires. Without a clear plan, getting anything done is significantly harder.
Right now, me writing this is a result of me breaking away from all of the other things I chose to do, when I really wanted to write this. While writing this, I felt anxious, and unsure, and wondered whether it was the ‘right time’ to do it. The ‘right time’ to do anything doesn’t exist. The ‘right time’ is the time that we decide firmly that we want to do something. Distractions and roadblocks can be seemingly endless when it comes to us achieving our goals, doing our best, and being as efficient as we can, but there are things that we can do to make it easier. It starts with self awareness, and self analyzing. Many times, it can feel like there is so much to do, and not enough time to do them. Prioritizing tasks, and establishing a clear method of executing them has helped me tremendously in how efficient I am, and has reduced the amount of anxiety I feel about getting things done. Meditation helps in the organization of my thoughts and blocks out the ‘noise’ and distractions that tend to get in the way of being efficient, and calmly starting and completing things. I don’t think that I’ll ever feel a complete sense of peace and ease when it comes to achieving all the day to day tasks that I want to do, but being aware and implementing ways to make it easier means that I am constantly improving. And that is enough for me.
perfectenigma 